The Introvert's Guide: Surviving a Networking Event
A simple protocol to network like an extrovert.
The following is an excerpt from my latest book Ex Nihilo: The Field Manual for Building Success Out of Nothing which is available now on Amazon in ebook and paperback formats.
The hardest part of building a tribe is maintaining connection.
Does this sound familiar?
Psych yourself up enough to go to a networking event.
Go and talk to a few people. Leave the event drained from so much socializing.
Never speak with the people you met ever again.
Question why you even went in the first place.
Stop going to events.
If the person we wish to stay connected to isn’t physically around us during the day-to-day, we have to be conscious about keeping the connection alive. More and more interaction is done remotely, so instead of ignoring this, it's better to evolve an approach towards getting good at it. Most people fail at follow-up because they treat it like a transaction. They wait until they need something from someone before reaching out. This creates awkward, obviously self-serving interactions that damage the relationship rather than strengthen it.
Here’s my strategy for systematic follow-up that builds genuine relationships. You can start here with something regimented and easy to follow. Then mold the process to fit how you operate over time.
24 Hours
Send a brief connection message while the interaction is still fresh in both your minds. Just acknowledge the conversation and express genuine interest in staying connected. If you have a long text message history, you now have a written record of what you originally connected over, which is great for refreshing memory.
Example: “Hi Sarah, great meeting you at the conference yesterday. Your insight about user research in FinTech was exactly what I needed to hear. Hope your presentation went well today.”
48 Hours
Connect on LinkedIn. Just a generic connection request is good here.
7 Days
Share something relevant to your conversation. This could be an article, a resource, an introduction to someone who could help them, or just a follow-up thought about something you discussed.
Example: “Hi Sarah, saw this article about FinTech user research trends and thought of our conversation. No need to respond, just thought you might find it interesting: [link]”
The key is that each touchpoint provides value rather than asking for something. You’re building a foundation of goodwill that makes future interactions natural rather than transactional. This leverages the “mere exposure” effect, where we tend to think more favorably about people we speak with more frequently than those we don’t.
If you find any of the above steps very taxing, it’s a good sign the connection isn’t worth actively maintaining - that’s a key difference between “networking” and tribe building.